


Finding Connor

by pixihawk



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: (death only for minor OCs no canon characters), Background Case, Canon-Typical Violence, Cat Owner Gavin Reed, Christmas Eve, Connor is not a cinnamon roll, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, Gavin Reed Redemption, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor canon divergence regarding how the revolution fails, Post-Canon, Violent Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 10:10:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17242352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixihawk/pseuds/pixihawk
Summary: Connor goes missing in the wake of a failed revolution and the following wave of anti-android violence.Gavin tells himself that he doesn't care.He's always been good at pretending.----Written for theConvin Secret Santa 2018.





	Finding Connor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [daemuo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/daemuo/gifts).



> A merry late Christmas everyone!!  
> This is an entry for the [Convin Secret Santa 2018](https://convin-secret-santa-2018.tumblr.com/) and specifically for [daemuo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/daemuo)!!! I really hope you'll enjoy this piece and I apologize for the wait. The next part is pretty much done but still needs some editing, so that'll be up as soon as I can manage!! 
> 
> Based on the prompt of Connor going missing and Gavin being the one to find him. There's also some kind of hand-holding, though I didn't manage to fit a ferris wheel in there. I did try but it didn't quite work out. :P This prompt kind of ran away with me but you said you like surprises, so I just went with it.
> 
> Alright, without further ado I hope you'll enjoy this!!

Nothing much changes on the evening of the revolution.

Gavin watches the androids march on his old TV up until the military ceases their fire and retreats - at that point he stops watching and proceeds to get drunk. But no amount of alcohol can keep him from seeing a figure marching an entire army across the battlefield when he closes his eyes; a figure dressed in a uniform Gavin is all too familiar with. They never showed his face, but he knows that it was Connor. Just thinking about him makes his body ache as he remembers the beating he received in the archive room only a few days prior. It might as well have been another lifetime altogether.

The most exciting part of that evening is when his cats destroy one of his lamps and with the exception of a lingering feeling of dread at the back of his mind everything remains the same.

It's easy to forget that outside of his tiny apartment the city is in flames.

 

*

 

The first and last time he sees Connor is two days after the androids take over Detroit.

When Gavin pulls up with his car to the parking lot in front of the police station he can see Hank and him arguing with each other, both clearly on edge. As soon as he gets out of his car Connor stops talking to look over at him.

Brown eyes. Impossibly warm, full of contempt. But also something else, something terrifying to see.

Sorrow.

For the fraction of a second the thought that Gavin ought to apologize hits him, though he isn't quite sure what for. After all he was right to be antagonistic - these machines just destroyed their homes and are now demanding that humanity bows to their every whim. There is nothing to be sorry about.

Gavin averts Connors eyes and pushes past the two of them without saying a word to either him or Hank.

 

*

 

Everything changes in the week following the revolution.

The fragile truce breaks faster than any of them expected. It's the afternoon of November 15th when the president declares all androids to be deactivated and the military marches in with renewed strength once more. Gavin doesn't quite understand what happens, but he does know that Cyberlife is involved. Something about an emergency override program. Experimental tech.

Android bodies drop like flies on live TV and the rest of them disperse with the soldiers gunning down anyone in sight. It's a gruesome imagery but despite the sick feeling to his stomach Gavin continues watching. Doesn't allow himself to look away. He hates it but he is part of this as well. All of them are. This is what he wanted, isn't it?

 _This is their own fault_ , he tells himself over and over again as blue blood paints the pavement. _Your anger is justified. They proved as much._

That night he dreams of wandering the streets of Detroit in the midst of a blizzard. His body is heavy and he can barely see two inches in front of himself. It feels like an eternity, but once the snow clears, he finds himself at a crossroad. A body is lying at his feet and it takes him a while to recognize who it is, but when he does his gaze is immediately drawn to Connors lifeless eyes staring up at the sky. Bullet holes piercing his body, blue blood spilling onto the floor. Or is it red?

Whenever he tries to focus on it, the image blurs.

 

*

 

Connor goes missing the day after.

Nobody knows where he went or what happened to him and Hank is quiet, far too quiet. Hollow, as if the life has simply left him together with his unlikely friend.

Gavin tries to forget about it, what does he care about this after all? So what if they deactivated or killed him? He never liked that piece of plastic. The two of them actively hurt each other, two beings in a conflict dictated by their core identity. Connor's fault has always been his existence, Gavin's his fear. Fear of replacement, of the unknown, of being defenseless. It's reasonable. His livelihood was endangered by all androids and he's not to blame.

And still it is the only thing he can think about until he quiets his mind with more alcohol that evening. He's fairly certain that none of them show up sober to work for the entire week.

 

*

 

Even a month after the revolution and Connor's disappearance everything is still in ruins.

Androids vanishing from social life throws the public into chaos. None of them realized how reliant they were on their servants, though they should've anticipated this. The following weeks are dominated by a sharp increase in crime as people are looting, demonstrating and fighting amongst themselves. Some of them sympathetic to the androids' cause, others enraged by the government letting it go this far in the first place. Most of them being more aggressive than ever before. Years of frustration finally spilling out.

The news cycle only perpetuates this violent escalation as they keep inciting anger against the androids even when they’ve already been defeated and the survivors forced into hiding - except that it is hard to hide when you have a face that everyone recognizes. Maybe a few of them manage to slip away but the majority doesn't.

All the while the politicians argue in circles about how they’re going to deal with the situation and get rid of the threat entirely. They eliminated the symptom, not the sickness. And right now it feels as though it might as well be the apocalypse.

Rebuilding begins slowly, but it's a Sisyphean task.

Everyone is making crazy hours at the DPD and Gavin isn't entirely sure when the last time he slept more than three hours at a time was. Regardless, they need to push through. Somehow manage to contain the chaos. Make everyone feel as though nothing ever happened when clearly it did and everything they took for granted was changed by it.

He catches Hank rifling through every possible data base on their servers whenever he thinks nobody is watching. Looking for people who are missing, found and unidentified or arrested. Any trace of Connor. It's pitiful, though there's also something admirable about his determination.

When he lies awake at night Gavin can't help but think about the last time he saw Connor and how he thought about apologizing. Androids scare the shit out of him, it's true. They still do, although it's in a different way now. What's keeping him awake is the look on Connors face he saw that day. There was something so genuinely sad in his eyes that it makes his chest ache nauseatingly. He's never going to be able to erase that now and that shouldn't bother him. It really shouldn't.

But it does and in a way Connor's disappearance is his responsibility as well.

 

*

 

Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas that year.

Gavin has never been a huge fan of the holidays because they usually only mean more work, but at least he was able to enjoy the festive atmosphere. This year that same atmosphere feels fake and oppressing, like a looming presence reminding them that there is nothing peaceful about their current situation.

So he decides to forgo it entirely. He texts his siblings a quick _Merry Christmas_ message and leaves his cats some tuna as a treat but then he pretends it's a night like any other. He's not on call but he does decide to work late at the office, just so he can be away from home and his thoughts. He's not the only one who feels that way it seems.

The office is empty aside from him and Hank who is sitting at his desk, a half-empty glass in his hand and a flask of whiskey on his desk. He looks like a sad imitation of his former self - even worse than before. How much loss can a single person take before it drives them insane?

"What are you doing here, Reed?", Hank asks and there's something about the way he slurs his words that clearly signal how drunk he is already. "Isn't it Christmas Eve? Fuck off and spend it with your family."

"None of your business how I spend my time.", Gavin replies as he powers up his computer and takes off his jacket, ready to drown his thoughts in work. It's more difficult than he expected however, as his mind is so chaotic that it's hard to stay focused on even one single thought at a time. So he turns back to Hank, ready to start teasing him once again. Something to keep him sane, ground him in the situation and keep his thoughts from wandering. It's the only way he knows how to deal with this.

And perhaps he also hopes that painting himself as a villain to Hank might distract the man from seeing himself as such. The thought is only fleeting, because Gavin is not that good of a person but it's there regardless.

"I figured you'd eventually drink yourself to death with him gone."

It doesn't come out as provocative as he intended. More pitiful.

Hank sighs and empties his glass in one gulp. "I know you could never stand him, but he changed me for the better. I'm not going to throw that away." With that he refills his glass once again and when he's done, he takes another glass from somewhere inside of his desk and fills that as well. "It's just fucking difficult right now. I hope he's alright."

Gavin wants to tell him that it'd be better to face reality and accept that Connor is gone for good. That his body is probably somewhere on those Android dumping grounds all over the city, or that he's with Cyberlife, being taken apart to look for the faults in his software that led to him having feelings in the first place.

Feelings that are nothing but bugs and some misguided artificial intelligence learning to imitate human behavior. It's not real. None of this is real. And yet...what's the difference between that and biological hormones regulating emotions? Was the sorrow he saw in Connor's eyes not undeniably there?

Gavin feels sick all of a sudden.

He gets up and walks over to Hanks desk, takes the second glass he's holding up for Gavin to take and empties it in one go. It burns and he hates the taste of whiskey but it's better than the alternative of following that particular thought process right now.

"I'm sure he's fine. That plastic prick is tougher than he looks."

He avoids eye contact as he mumbles the words, though from the corner of his vision he can see Hank faintly smiling. It's stupid, but for some reason that makes him feel even worse.

Maybe because some part of himself is hoping that he's not actually lying about this.

 

*

 

It's a week later that Gavin finds himself taking a look at some of the missing person data bases that Hank is always looking at. It's useless however, there's no trace of Connor at all. Frustrated he slams shut his laptop and swears that this was just his curiosity. That's all. He doesn't hope that he could find something that Hank would've overlooked.

He doesn't.

 

*

 

It's almost July when he begins to notice a trend.

Gavin doesn't specifically look out for them at first, but he's always been pretty good at recognizing patterns, so when he checks an older case from the beginning of the year he can't stop thinking about it. There's inconsistencies in some of the reports of android sightings and witness statements. After he begins he can't stop noticing the same thing in several other reports, a name obscured, some details changed. All of them in a way that would mislead any investigation. It doesn't take him long to realize that all the ones that seem suspicious come from the same three Officers in the department.

Officer Miller. Officer Wilson.

_Lieutenant Anderson._

There's enough evidence in these files to take to the captain and prompt an internal investigation. Those aren't mere coincidences but an organized effort to derail police work. So Gavin saves all of it to a USB flash drive and takes it home, something they won't be able to erase.

 

*

 

He should tell the captain. He really should, because if he doesn't, he's an accomplice. Hank and the other two officers are clearly helping androids escape detection and he should put an end to it.

And yet...

...the USB flash drive stays inside of his night table untouched.

 

*

 

"It's Connor's birthday.", Hank mentions absentmindedly. "At least I think it's the date he mentioned for his activation day."

They're at a crime scene, right on the shore of a river and the heat is almost unbearable as they search the perimeters for any evidence. It's a double homicide, though they're not calling it that. Gavin doubts that anyone would've cared if one of the two hadn't been human. The bodies lie farther down the shore together, watching the water, leaning against each other in a mocking display of intimacy. A blonde woman in her mid-40s and a PL600 model, if Gavin recalls the number on his jacket correctly. He's never paid much attention to details like that before.

Both of their heads have been bashed in with dull weapons, skull fragments mixing on the ground with brain matter as well as red and blue blood. It's a sickly looking cocktail and Gavin is glad to currently be out of view from the scene. There's just some things you never get used to no matter how many gruesome crime scenes you see. Truthfully, he doesn't want to get used to the sight. He'd prefer to retain a healthy amount of disgust.

"Huh.", he answers as he kneels down to inspect a rock that has some red splattered on it. It appears as though someone was walking this way while bleeding, or dripping blood perhaps from a weapon.

"You ever think it could've been different? That they could've led a peaceful revolution? Would we have listened?"

"Doubtful."

Hank goes quiet, then bends down as well.

"Hey, there's more blood here. Seems like our attacker fled the scene in this direction."

Gavin looks over to where Hank is pointing and sure enough, there is another bloodied stone. It's not much to go off on but if the attacker left a blood trail, they might be able to trace them to a point covered by security cameras.

"We should get the forensic team on it. Have them check if this is the victim's blood or someone new."

He receives a nod from Hank, before he says something into his walkie-talkie. They walked quite a way along the shore until they found this so now they have to wait for the rest of the team to catch up with them.

After the call Hank stares out onto the waters, appearing lost in thoughts. His hands rest in his pockets and his body language seems casual, though Gavin can clearly tell that there's a tension in his shoulders he can't quite hide.

"Android and Human, huh? It's too soon to come to any solid conclusions but I'd bet good money on this turning out to be motivated by hatred.", Hank begins with a heaviness in his voice that's difficult not to notice. "It makes me sick to consider that there might be someone out there who killed them for committing the simple crime of existing."

Gavin stays silent, frozen in place.

He knows Hank is right but there is something fucked up about hearing his own fears from half a year ago mirrored back to him as the suspected motive of a killing.

He hurt Connor. Insulted him. Threatened him. Fought him.

He knows he was prepared to shoot Connor that day in the archive room. He _wanted_ to. Wanted to assert a level of control over him and extract revenge for something that was out of Connor's hands entirely. It wasn't his fault for being built, not his fault for existing.

And yet Gavin didn't care to see it. Too wrapped up in his own hatred to acknowledge what he saw in Connor's eyes the moment his fist connected with his stomach.

Fear, hurt, acceptance, _emotion_.

"Hope you got what you wanted.", Hank mutters and turns around to leave him standing there, continuing to search the area.

Gavin seriously considers doubling over and throwing up right there on the spot.

 

*

 

He's on his way home from work when he sees him.

It's only the fraction of a second of recognition but there's a figure standing at the corner of the intersection when he turns into the street to his apartment.

Hooded, dark clothing. Inconspicuous. And yet there's something about the posture that catches Gavin's attention. Something eerily familiar. He stares at the figure until he passes him, then watches him from the rear window.

The figure is watching him in return.

Gavin's heart is pounding in his ears when he pulls up to his parking lot and dashes out of his car, then up the street to the corner where he saw him. Runs so fast he's pretty sure that anyone who sees him must think of him as a madman. When he arrives he's breathing heavily, gasping for air from the sprint.

But there's no hooded figure anymore and no evidence that he was ever there.

 

*

 

He dreams again. Dreams of a figure, watching him with brown eyes. And then in a confusing change of scenery he's holding that same figure, clutched tightly to his chest as blood sputters from Connor's mouth.

Red, blue, grey.

It's all muddled together, unclear, out of focus.

 _Please_ , he whispers into Connor's ear. _Please, talk to me._

But it's useless. There's no response. He knows that the body he's holding is nothing but an empty husk, even if he can feel it's eyes still tracking his every movement.

Everything is kind of foggy and makes no sense. There's a vague awareness that this isn't real, he knows it's a dream, but Gavin can't get himself to wake up even when he tries. Slowly he lowers the body to the ground and gets up, standing on unstable legs. His knees are weak and threaten to buckle any second now. His entire body feels strangely heavy.

It's in that moment that he notices the metallic bat in his hand, when before there was nothing there. Blood is splattered all over it, clearly blue, bright blue, undeniably blue.

The sound of it hitting the ground as he drops it wakes him up in a cold sweat.

 

*

 

Gavin feels a slight tremor in his hands as he rings the bell to Jared Powell's apartment.

It's stupid to feel so irritated by this case to the point that he's physically affected but it's only been a few days since they discovered the bodies down by the river and everything still feels far too fresh. This is too personal, which is confusing, because it's not. He's never cursed the fact that they don't have a dedicated android unit any more than he does now, as he'd much rather see this case in anyone's but his hands. He's only here in the first place because they're severely understaffed.

Hank is still in the car, talking to Fowler on the phone about god-knows-what. He's been more agreeable lately yet somehow him and the captain still manage to shout at each other every couple of days. He hasn't seen Hank drink in months now and Gavin's pretty sure that this was a requirement for him being able to stay on the force after his post-Connor breakdown.

Regardless, that's neither Gavin's business nor what he's here for.

It's was laughably easy to track Powell down as the blood they did find was of a third party and immediately matched once they fed the sample into their system. He's the human victim's husband, which makes all of this almost too clean-cut. It's certainly enough to secure a search warrant in a short amount of time.

Powell also has a criminal record, he's been arrested multiple times for fraud, domestic violence and a few times for property damage. A nice and roundabout way of saying he's a part-time criminal that enjoys beating up his wife and the occasional android in his spare time. On the surface the obvious motive seems to obviously be that his wife left him for an android and he didn't take well to that, killing both of them in a fit of rage.

Truth be told, Gavin can't wait to see the asshole's face when he pulls out the warrant.

He rings again, this time letting the sound linger just to be as annoying as possible. Nothing makes people as predictable as pissing them off does.

He's just about to ring the bell a third time when the door opens with the chain lock engaged and he can see the face of a bearded, white man staring at him through the slit. He's 46 years old according to his file, though he looks much older with his sunken in eyes and face full of wrinkles.

"Jared Powell?"

"...yes?"

"I'm Detective Reed with the Detroit Police Department." He holds up his badge for Powell to read. The man's eyes don't betray any kind of distinct emotion as he scans it quickly, before his gaze flickers up to look at Gavin. He really doesn't like this guy. There's something about him that seems...off. And his instincts are rarely wrong.

"May I please come in? We have a search warrant and your cooperation would be in both of our interest."

Powell simply continues staring, before he slowly nods and closes the door again. There's a faint rustling sound as he's apparently opening the chain lock and somewhat impatiently Gavin throws a look over his shoulder to see where Hank is staying.

It's a mistake.

The door opens so abruptly that Gavin barely has a chance to react. Before he can even turn back around a body bumps into him violently and he's flung to the side, only able to keep himself upright because his back crashes against the wall of the building.

It takes him a moment to realize what's going on but when he's back on track, Powell is already dashing down the street.

"He's on the run!!", he manages to yell, somehow, though Hank is still on the phone and it takes him far too long to notice Gavin screaming at him. By the time Gavin is on his feet again and can actually begin the pursuit, their suspect is already almost turning the first street corner.

"Hey! Get him!"

Hank's voice echoes after him, as Gavin sprints across the sidewalk, turns the corner and just barely manages to catch sight of Powell turning into another street. Shit.

Adrenaline is one hell of a motivator and anger produces plenty of adrenaline. And this man is likely responsible for the death of two people. Not even considering how weirdly irritated this case leaves him, that's plenty enough reason for Gavin to push through the pain of his lungs burning in his chest. Though Powell has good speed and seems trained even if he has about a decade on him. It's certainly enough strength to overwhelm an unsuspecting android.

But then he turns another corner and when Gavin follows, he feels his heart skip a beat. A dead-end alleyway.

Gotcha.

Powell has realized his situation as well, as he frantically looks around and then back at Gavin coming towards him. Panic in his eyes. Good.

"Jared Powell, you're under arrest for suspicion of two counts of murder _and_ evading custody!" Gavin still feels out of breath but he manages to get those word out surprisingly firm. Perhaps that's also part of the adrenaline. "You have the right to remain-"

But Powell is apparently an idiot.

He's already made himself more vulnerable by fleeing - that's a misdemeanor at least - and this is the final nail in his metaphorical coffin. Stupidly he attempts the same maneuver as before and starts running towards Gavin, fully intend on body slamming into him. This time however, Gavin is prepared.

He quickly sidesteps the man, grabs his arm and attempts to restrain him but the speed at which Powell came barreling towards him sends both of them flying to the ground. Strength can only get you so far in the face of experience because up close Gavin quickly manages to pin the man down on the ground, twisting his arms behind his back and pressing his face into the pavement harshly. He's taken on bigger men than Powell in hand-to-hand combat.

"You have the right to remain silent and you should really consider making use of it.", He hisses, a venom boiling within him.

But that'd be too easy. Powell doesn't even give Gavin the chance to read him the rest of his rights.

"I didn't fucking kill her!! That piece of plastic did! I didn't kill anyone; I defended her!!"

"You admit to killing the android?"

Powell stops struggling and cranks his neck to the side to stare up at him with wide eyes, an unbelieving expression on his face.

And then he laughs.

It comes out flat due to his chest pressing against the ground but it's genuine. As though what Gavin said thoroughly amused him.

"It's not even alive!"  

_This isn't personal._

Gavin knows better than to interject his own moral beliefs into investigations. That's not his job, that's judge's and jury's responsibility once a case goes on trial. He's only here to find and bring in suspects.

And yet the moment Powell starts laughing a white, hot anger builds in Gavin's stomach. This is the kind of person that likely killed Connor. Probably left him to die, alone and afraid. The kind that takes sick pleasure in taking his aggressions out on those who are already down.

The kind of person that Gavin is.

 _Was_.

He swings his arm back and aims for the profile of Powell's nose. Or his shit-eating grin; it won't look so self-satisfied once he's missing a few teeth. Either way, he wants to see this man suffer and in that moment he does not care for either his badge or possible consequences. None of this matters to him. All he sees are Connor's lifeless eyes and the fucking bat in his own hands and fuck, he wants this man to pay.

But his fist doesn't connect.

"Reed, you fucking idiot!"

Something holding Gavin's arm firmly, preventing him from swinging and he's simultaneously thankful and pissed off at that. What the fuck took Hank so long and why does he have to arrive now to save him from his own impulsivity? This is not his business and if Gavin wants to be stupid, he's going to be stupid!

That same heat leaves him however as he struggles in Hank's grasp and the tiredness of his body finally catches up with him. Still irritated but no longer willing to risk his badge he stops fighting until Hank finally let's him go. This is a thoroughly unprofessional display and anger and shame burn on his cheeks as he gets up to let Hank handle this train wreck.

As he's leaving he can hear Hank read Powell his rights as he handcuffs him. What a fucking disaster. They made quite the way from the apartment to here but Hank must've driven after them considering that Gavin finds the car they arrived in earlier parked hastily on the street in front of the alleyway.

A heavy lethargy settles in his bones as he takes out a cigarette in a half-hearted attempt at calming down.

 

*

 

He kind of hopes that none of this will ever come up again. That they can just move past this stupid case and how inexplicably angry it made him feel. Perhaps Hank didn't even notice that change in him. He really hopes that's the case because if he'd ask about it, Gavin won't have any explanation. That's the most prominent thought on his mind as he watches Powell get taken into the interrogation room.

From his desk he can see the door closing behind Hank and another officer he doesn't recognize. They didn't ask him to be there.

Minutes pass, which turn into almost an entire hour and the only thing he can do is chew on his pencils and stare at the door. His mind is racing too much for him to concentrate on work and he can tell that Fowler is watching him from his office but right in this moment he can't bring himself to care. Then finally, after what feels like an eternity, the interrogation room's door swings open. Hank steps outside and watches as the officer from earlier takes Powell back to his holding cell, a grin on his ugly face.

Part of him wants to get up and get the details from Hank immediately but another part of him is glad as he sees him vanish into the break room instead.

But then Hank comes back only to stop in front of Gavin's desk and frown at him. He doesn't say anything, just stares at him for what feels like minutes, then takes a sip out of his coffee - is he feeling sick? Did he actually quit drinking? - and slowly comes towards him.

"Looks as though he's sticking with the story that the android killed his wife and he in turn _killed_ the android." Hank scoffs and Gavin knows that the phrasing that's officially being used is likely closer to deactivated instead of killed. "This is going to be a shitshow."

He watches closely but when Gavin doesn't answer him, he simply shrugs and leaves.

It feels as though he's just been evaluated though he doesn't know for what and Gavin really doesn't like that uncertainty at all.

 

*

 

Cyberlife announces the new line of androids a day before Gavin's birthday. There's a certain irony in that.

 _They're incapable of deviating_ , the Cyberlife spokesperson says on TV. _Purely machine. Reduced mental functionality to ensure public safety._

There's something disgusting about the way they parade around these new androids, assuring over and over again that every trace of feelings or understanding has been purged from their programming. Pretending that this isn't cruel or in poor taste. Plus there's something else that's bugging Gavin. He doesn't get how Cyberlife is even still allowed to operate, how they haven't gone bankrupt. Does the government not care? The cynical part of his brain tells him that there might not be much difference between the two institutions.

The new line of androids is supposed to be released at the beginning of New Year's and Cyberlife is determined to change public opinion until then, because naturally there's an outcry in protest going through the population.

Nobody wants a repeat of what happened last year.

The TV is still playing a news station talking about the changes, showing an interview with different experts of _blah blah whatever_. Gavin doesn't listen because it's all bullshit anyway. Instead he gets up, goes into his bedroom and takes the USB flash drive out of his night table only to stare at it. He can't allow himself to consider how stupid he is for feeling so conflicted about the information he's still holding onto.

Or rather, how little conflict about what to do there actually is within him.

 

*

 

Court proceedings take their time so it'll be a while until there's going to be any tangible results, yet Gavin finds himself latching onto any news he gets on the cases he's worked on.

Powell's case goes on trial in November.

He stops in front of Hank's desk a day later and makes sure that no one is watching or listening in. It's probably not smart to do this here, but he needs to because Hank usually avoids being alone with him. It's understandable.

"Why are you bothering me now?", Hank asks, clearly exasperated and uninterested in a conversation.

But Gavin has no patience for his asshole persona. He can see right through it, knows that it's just a front and it pisses him off. Hank is a good person deep down pretending not to care. Unlike him, a proper asshole through and through.

"I found your dirt. Wasn't that hard. Obscuring information about androids? Helping them get away?"

All the color drains from Hank's face at once as his head whips around to stare at Gavin, his full attention on him. Gavin knows that he's likely preparing himself for blackmail right now. There's probably not a single doubt on Hank's mind that Gavin's intentions are malicious. This is the person people expect him to be.

He never gave any indication that it might be a wrong impression.

"Get better at hiding your traces."

Confusion is the last thing Gavin sees on Hank's features before he turns around and gets back to his place, a weirdly shameful feeling poking at the back of his mind. He kind of hoped that this might be able to enable him to pretend that he's a better person than he truly is.

It doesn't.

 

*

 

The revolution changed everything.

It changed him.

 

*

 

It's Christmas again and Connor has been missing for well over a year now. It's weird to consider how much time Gavin spends remembering him, because they barely knew each other. He was with them for maybe a few weeks before everything went to shit and yet he left an undeniable impact on everyone.  

It feels even more difficult this year, so Gavin decides to skip the part where he's trying to distract himself with work entirely and instead get drunk straight away.

He chooses to go for his and Tina's favorite bar at the edge of town. It's kind of pathetic to spend Christmas getting drunk alone but all of his friends are at home with their families and he's not doing that. Too many questions would arise - plus they're on the other side of the continent. And there's no way he's spending Christmas Eve with Hank again. It's hard to look him in the eyes after everything that happened over the past year.

Apparently he's not the only loser as the bar is pretty full. There's a lot of lonely people in Detroit. He lets his gaze wander over the crowd, getting a feeling for the room as he settles down in a booth fairly close to the entry door. Perhaps it's work related but he likes to be aware of his surroundings at all times. There's nothing that immediately sticks out to him and he's almost ready to just get himself a drink and relax when his heart suddenly skips a beat.

There's a guy sitting at the bar and for the fraction of a second Gavin notices him looking in his direction.

 He doesn't get a proper look at him but there's a strange sense in his mind that he's important somehow, though Gavin's not sure why. He can tell that this guy is attractive, even with his back turned towards him, though that should not be enough to set off the signals screaming at him right now.

He's not one for casual hook-ups. Too much trust issues for that. And picking up people in bars in the first place has never been a great idea in his experience, especially if they're spending Christmas there. So he's not entirely sure why his brain thinks the guise of flirting is a good excuse to approach the guy and get a better look at him as it makes the decision without consulting him first.

He gets up from his seat, goes over to the bar and sits down right on the bar stool next to him. There's an empty glass in front of him, though the ice hasn't quite melted yet. Unless he's already had more drinks earlier he couldn't have arrived long before Gavin got here. Before striking up a conversation however, he calls out to the bartender to get them both the same drink the guy has sitting in front of him. Then it's time to turn up the charm.

"Hey there, handsome.", he starts. It's been a while since he flirted with anyone, or even had anyone he wanted to flirt with.

The last truly attractive person he met from a purely objective point of view and without considering that he was an android or anything that happened between them would've been Connor. But that train of thoughts is a whole can of worms that's unwise to open right now. Or ever, really.

The guy doesn't answer him, instead he nods in acknowledgement and raises a hand in greeting. He's slightly turned away, looking in the other direction, though he doesn't seem to mind Gavin sitting down next to him. So either he's the quiet kind or really weird. It's kind of hard to talk to someone without seeing their face, though when Gavin leans forward to take a peek the guy turns around even farther to avoid his gaze. Gavin only gets a glimpse of his lips like this - pretty lips. And he's fairly certain he saw a piercing just then.

Their drinks arrive and the guy takes his glass immediately, downing it in one go.

Gavin can't help himself from staring. Perhaps this should be a sign for him to back off and still he doesn't feel like giving up, something inside of him pushing him to continue against all reason.

"I'm Gavin.", he tries again. Worst case scenario, he's going to be ignored. He can take rejection.

But rejection isn't what happens. It's simultaneously better and worse.

The guy turns around to him and their eyes meet.

Gavin feels his entire body freeze at once as he stares into those familiar, warm, brown eyes. No traces of sorrow this time, only curiosity and something akin to amusement. And just as they've always done, they draw him into them in a way that makes him feel weirdly powerless.

All Gavin manages is to mutter a disbelieving _'fuck'._

This has to be another model, just like him. Except that can't be, as he distinctly recalls the inflection in his voice from all that time ago as he assured Gavin that he's a prototype. Or perhaps Gavin's dreaming again. That has to be it, right? His mind is playing a cruel trick on him. And yet when the guy speaks, the voice is so familiar as if it's barely been days since Gavin heard it last. Exactly like he remembers.

"I'm Colin. Thank you for the drink, Detective."

There's no mistaking. This is him. Gavin doesn't know how to reply anymore, all the words are stuck in his throat and he only manages to stare at the figure in front of him.

Connor - _Colin?_ \- looks different.

The first thing he notices is that his hair is gone, replaced by a buzz cut. No strands that fall into his face anymore. He's also spotting several piercings besides the ones on his lips he noticed earlier, on his brows and his ears. It looks edgy and young, so different to the clean-cut, professional Connor he remembers.

There's a thousand questions on his mind, though they're too out in the open to talk openly. He's not even sure whether Connor would allow him to ask. The last time they actually interacted with each other was when they beat each other up.

To gauge his reaction Gavin throws a sideway glance at the barkeeper and sure enough, he's watching them, though he quickly pretends to be cleaning glasses. Connor follows his gaze and there's understanding on his face, so Gavin leans forward and he really doesn't need to be this close but his heart is beating fast with adrenaline and he doesn't trust his voice right now, so he whispers into Connor's ear.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

Connor doesn't reply and instead nods, so Gavin reaches into his pocket and pulls out several bills that he puts down on the bar counter before getting up. His knees feel weak in anticipation of talking to the same person that was missing for more than a year and now simply turned up in front of him. It's surreal and Gavin quickly pinches his arm to ensure that this isn't a dream after all.

He doesn't wake up this time.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you for reading and a Happy New Year to all of you!! This fandom truly made my year, it got me back into writing and I met so many wonderful new friends because of it!! In 2019 I'm definitely planning on finishing up all my current fics and I still have a few others in the works. :) So thanks for sticking around and for all the support, you guys are the absolute best.  
> The past two months were really rough depression wise so I'm still catching up on comments, but I want all of you to know that I read every single one of them and they're a huge source of motivation. So thank you for being so amazingly supportive!!!
> 
> See you all next year!!!


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